The treacherous adventure of gifting stationery to your hobbyist friend or loved one

My picky, choosy, sticklerish preferences in ink and pens makes gifting me ink and pens a treacherous endeavor. The same picky, choosy, sticklerish obsession with stationery that guides my day-to-day encourages my loved ones to want to gift me pens and ink. You gift loved ones what you anticipate they will love.

Researching, finding and exploring which aspects of a pen or ink I like and which I dislike are the soil in which my obsession grows. My penchant for joyful nitpicking is the opposite of what a gift-giver wants.

When I give a gift, I want to see wide, happy eyes. I want to see my loved one dive into the gift and find joy in it. However, my stationery joy lays in picking my stationery apart, separating out what works from what works less-than-well for me — in addition to digging writing itself. My picky, choosy, sticklerish obsession makes me a bad stationery gift-receiver. Oof.

Some sticky stationery-gifting dynamics. Apologies to my loved ones.

I just journeyed through this dilemma with my partner. They recently made a trip into New York City to see a show with my mother-in-law and my partner’s good friend. Fun in the city that has been out of reach through two years of high COVID rates.

My partner passed a Pineider shop amidst their theater-visiting shenanigans. Joy of joys, my partner spied pens and inks in a display window. My mother-in-law and my partner’s friend assented to an unplanned shopping trip. A visit to Pineider for a surprise gift. All for me. Bwahaha.

They tried pens and swatched inks. My partner recalled that I do not have a classic blue ink in my collection. The classic blurple ink color that pen makers often include in their ink collections. Pineider’s Blue took the train home a surprise gift for me.

A surprise related to my stationery hobby. A surprise that I don’t already have and haven’t tried before. Great gift-giving.

I quickly filled my blue Kaweco Sport Classic (itself a gift from my partner) with  my new blue ink and wrote with the pairing.

And swatched my new Blue

Pineider’s ink performs well in my Kaweco feed. Reliable, moderate flow. Quick drying that prevents smearing. Subtle, infrequent shading. A straightforward, down-to-business, blue amethyst ink.

Classy, classic blue.

However, my persnickety ink preferences steer towards blue with cobalt or teal undertones. The purple undertones in Pineider’s Blue is a lovely color, but just isn’t for me.

I love the gift. An excellent, thoughtful gift! A gift I certainly do not already have in my ink collection. and an ink I will most likely rehouse with someone who loves the color of Pineider Blue. Oof, indeed.

So what alternatives do we have? We can refocus our gift-giving to non-stationery items that I appreciate in more traditional ways. Ask family to leave buying stationery to me and focus on other joy-bringing areas of life like clothing and cooking and reading and gaming.

We can check-in before buying to ensure the gift will be “in the wheelhouse” of my engineered preferences. Trade the wonder of a great surprise gift for the certainty that I’m going to love the noun of gift as much as the verb of gift.

Or, and this is my favorite approach, I can appreciate the opportunities to keep stepping outside of my known preferences. And be wide eyed, eager and grateful for the opportunities to rediscover a new preference I didn’t know I held. And communicate clearly how the exploring — the experience of reviewing their gift — is what I love about their gift. The verb of gift is far more important to me than the noun of gift.

I clearly have some journaling to do on these options. Awesome, colorful journaling. Some of which will definitely be in Pineider Blue. Which is a stationery gift outside of my ink-color preferences. Sincerely good times.

How do you and your loved ones navigate giving stationery as gifts?

I’m still using last week’s currently inked writing tools.

Vacation vacation vacation

I am away on family vacation this week. Enjoying multiple generations of the family tree all under the same roof leaves little time for reflecting meaningfully on my writing.

Even though there is certainly writing happening … and painting … and coloring. Serious coloring.

So, I’m prioritizing time with my little nephews this week. And leaving you all with the road trip playlist I made for my partner. This is what we’ve been listening to all week.

Currently reading and listening

Fiction. Liu’s wonderful The Three-Body Problem drew me in when the storyline came together in the final third of the book. I read the final 17 chapters on the front porch of our vacation rental.

Next to my partner reading her book on Fleetwood Mac. Next to my 4 year old nephew who snagged a Shel Silverstein book to read with us. Reading in the family.

Simply excellent science-fiction. Sophisticated physics. Strong characters I wanted to like. And a fun revisiting of events from multiple perspectives, adding a completely new feel with each repetition.

Music. The art of the mix tape is delicate and personal. I steer towards playlists that tell a meaningful story — while refusing to take itself too seriously. A personal story. A delicate balance.

My humble road trip playlist as a surprise gift for my partner. Our soundtrack while driving six hours north to see family. And my journaling and reading soundtrack since we’ve left.

Two very good reasons for a wild, asymmetrical posting schedule this week. And a wonderful way to ease into the DC Pen Show.